Raising children is really a tough role for parents to portray. But raising resilient children is definitely a different story and a more difficult one. Like any value, resiliency is not developed overnight. At most, parents play vital roles in inculcating this trait in children.
How do we set apart children armed with resiliency from the crowd?
Resilient children possess high self-worth and hope. Also, they are aware of their strong points and weaknesses; thus, they have learned to set realistic goals and expectations. The challenges they have successfully overcome have also developed their ability to solve problems and make wiser decisions.
According to Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein, authors of the parenting guide book Raising Resilient Children, children need inner strength to deal competently with the many challenges and demands they encounter. This capacity to cope and feel competent is what we call resilience.
As parents, we want to be there for our children as they encounter problems which entails more than school work. Here are some practical guides so that we won’t lose sight of what is important in our parenting behaviors.
Empathy means putting ourselves in the place of our children and seeing the situation through their eyes. It doesn’t mean that we agree with them, rather, we appreciate their efforts and their thoughts.
Teach them problem-solving skills.
From the very start, teach them how to solve problems strategically. Make them realize that taking problems personally won’t do any good. Rather, objectivity should be the key as they approach their problems. At all times, they must be neutral and open-minded to all situations.
Identify their field of competence.
Each child has his or her own fields of interest. Helping our children promote their strengths rather than emphasizing their weaknesses encourages them to succeed.
In Kumon, the worksheets that the children answer are fitted to their ability. In a wider scenario, our children need opportunities that will allow them to shine. In the same manner, tasks and opportunities should be tailored to their strengths and capabilities.
Discipline spells consistency.
Discipline doesn’t mean being rigid, but rather, being reasonably firm with the message we convey and the decisions we make. This way, our children won’t be confused on what to do and what not to do. Previous decision-making experiences will be their basis in making decisions on their own.